Message: Here is my report paper.
I am not sure if the word ‘mature’ suits best with what I am going to share; probably the word ‘changed’ is suitable for this.
When I was in my 4th year high school, I used to be very spoiled and lazy. I never really cared about my grades since my only aim is just to pass. Every day when I got home from school, my first destination would be my computer. I would spend my whole night lazing around the computer instead of spending the whole night with my family. I would always remember the tiring face of my parents whenever I arrive in the house. I can see that they’ve been doing their best to send me and my brothers to school. That kind of love that they sacrificed themselves for our sake never reached me. I was immature back then. I was in the dark. I was blinded. The things I should have valued back then should have been the things that can’t be bought my money and I regretted that the most. The sinner, ugly, terrible and nightmare ‘me’ was my worst enemy and I didn’t realize it until God taught me a lesson. The lesson made me come to God. It made me know him. It made me desire him more and more.
It was 4 weeks before college starts. It was Sunday, my brothers and I are getting ready to go to church. My parents can’t go since my father’s heart started aching and I was very worried, so I asked mom to watch over him. When I got home from church, my father was still there, massaging his heart. I asked him if it was really serious and he nodded. I told my mom to send him to the hospital but my mom said it was just normal. I was angry when my mom said that. She didn’t realize that it was really serious. I entered the room where my father was at. I asked him plenty of questions about the symptoms he experienced; my father participated and answered all my questions. I want to help figure out my father’s sickness since my mom doesn’t want to take him to the doctor. I wrote down everything he said and I searched it on Google, but no matter how hard I try to search for answers, I really can’t find it. Let’s face it, I am not a doctor and trying to be one doesn’t help in our case.
I forced my mom to let him go to the doctor, but my mom won’t budge. She’s still determined about not letting my dad go. That night, my father finally said that he wants go to see the doctor, so my mom finally agreed. I was in front of my computer, surfing the net when my parents started packing. Before my father left, I asked him if he wants to bring his bible. He smiled and said yes. I was happy to see him smile. He loves the Lord more than ever. He loves him more than us and that’s enough for me to smile while writing this. I got the bible and gave it to him. After a few minutes, they went off. I waved good bye to them, and I never knew that, that was the last time that I would see him…
I was the one watching my parents’ business since they’re both in the hospital. I manage their business while watching Korean dramas. I was irritated. I wished my mom closed the store so that I wouldn’t be the one watching it. Anyways, my dad was immediately sent to the ICU and my mom frowned at that. ICU was expensive and my mom doesn’t want to spend money on expensive bills. My mom wants the nurses to transfer my dad to a normal room. After 2 days, my father was transferred to a normal room. It was Thursday when my father asked to see me. I wasn’t able to go since I have to watch over the business. I was at the store and my brothers and I were planning to see my dad, to have dinner together with him.
A call suddenly arrived and my brother was the one to answer it. It was my mom. She said my father can’t breathe. We need to get there soon, she said. I was panicking. I don’t know if it was reality, but all I knew was that my heart was pounding so fast and that’s enough evidence that I’m not dreaming. We immediately went to where my dad was. When I arrived, I saw doctors everywhere. They were pumping my dad’s heart and I can hear the sound of the ICU. I was frozen. I can’t move. I feel like I want to cry but I can’t.
I don’t want to watch my dad fighting for his life, so I went to the dark alley. I prayed and prayed to God that he would let my dad live. I also blurted words and words that felt like I was doing a ritual.
My brothers suddenly came to me and gave me the news that my dad is gone. They were crying, but I was not crying. I was in shock. I was not even sure just what in the world just happened.
Later that night, my brain finally registered just what happened. I cried so much that felt like my eyes were going to drop. I felt so dead. I lost hope of everything. I thought that we’re going to stay happily. I thought that he would still be alive to see my wedding. I also thought that he would be the one who would walk me down the aisle. Everything was shattered; and things wouldn’t be the same without my father…
My father was very loyal to God. He read the bible while he was in the hospital. God was his first priority above all; and I proudly want to declare that I’m my father’s daughter.
The day of my father’s burial was also the day that I would go to the youth camp, to learn more about God. In those 5 days that I spent in the youth camp was one of the miraculous days that had happened to me. God touched and opened my heart. He gave me life. He gave me peace and comfort. He let me know that he loved me so much, enough to die on the cross for me. He made me realized that there’s still hope, a hope that I would be able meet my dad in heaven. That hope was enough to live for…♥
My hope is Jesus, the savior who died for me. ♥
God’s love for us made me realized of how much worth I am. Because of Jesus, I desired to change, to be like him.
Now that I am in college without my dad, I know I have the full weight responsibility of taking care of my mom and my brothers. I have to be the one who would take care of them. Because Christ is in me, I should be an example to everybody that includes my family. The spoiled 16 year old girl that just lost her dad is now the 17 year old who found Christ. ♥
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